South Sudan Journal, Parts 3 & 4 (of 29)

Message #3 October 3, 2003


Hello Mom and Dad.

Thank you for the email, it is good to get news of home, and news from friends through you.

Things here are coming along, but I still feel like I have lots to learn. I am working hard in the days, and into the nights with this handover with Karline. There are just so many things to order (Medical drugs, equipment, logistical materials and equipment, food for patients, food incentives for the staff, etc) and so many places to order from (Lokichok­kio, Nairobi, Amsterdam) and places to store it, along with expiry dates and other losses. Plus, the staff (100+ staff) issues are pretty difficult, and the whole, "how everything in the compound and clinics works" talking; things are going to be busy.

I got an email question from a friend the other day; I thought this would be a good forum to answer it. The question summarized is, "How did my thoughts before I arrive and now, differ in relation to my relationships with the national and international staff?" I'm glad I took a couple days to think about that, here are my first thoughts.

Before I arrived here, I knew it would be hard to relate to people here, since we are from different societies and economic environments. How can I complain to someone about losing a CD if the average family owns a pot, a couple of water jugs, and some cloths; and doesn't really understand how music can come from a source, other than people playing music in front of them. I felt before that the differences in our environments would make interactions difficult, and also impersonal. I was pleasantly surprised.

I am learning that the stuff of interactions, and relationships span more than one's home environment and upbringing. Handshakes are really big here. Off the plane, it took 20 minutes to shake hands with EVERY person who came to see the plane. To the ones that didn't get a handshake, they held the same face, as someone left out of a greeting in Can­ada. Also, other interaction things, like acknowledging good work, are very well received here, as in Canada too. I have yet to find a person who doesn't like a 'thank you' Joking around, is also something I found universal in my travels, and here it is no differ­ent; sure it is on a different level, joking about falling into a latrine, or about the little cow pushing the big cow, but the laughs are the same.

There are, however, many things that make up what defines the people here, that I have no understanding of. For instance, I have learned that when a man forces himself on a woman (what we would call a rape, or sexual harassment) is called, "taking a woman" and there is little distinction of a rape, and a consenting marriage, it is all considered, "taking a woman". With taking a woman, there is a payment of cows to the family of the woman, (similar to a dowry.) One of the guards and a translator came up to me, and the translator said, "His sister was taken by a man, so now he has to take three days off to get the cows." He said it as plainly, as if someone back home said, "I'm taking Friday off and going to the cottage for the weekend." In times like that, I realize that even though just an hour ago we joked about the sky looking like it would rain (something we would both feel the effects of), after a statement like that, I have no experience in my history to refer to, on how to react. What to say, "Good luck with it then" or "Say hello to your sister" or "???" Today, another thing came up. I was interviewing for another cleaner, for our Kala Azar clinic. After the "hello" and introductions, things got different. Through a transla­tor, parts of the interviews that I will remember for a while were as follows.

Steve: "So do you children?"
Translator: "She has had 8."
Steve: "Wow, you must be busy."
Translator: "Two are alive."

Steve: "How old are you?"
Translator: "She doesn't know."

Steve: "Do you know why you are here?"
Translator: "She says she was told to come here to get a job, maybe cooking, maybe as a nurse."

Steve: "The position is for a cleaner, to clean our Kala Azar clinic and Latrines."
Translator: "She says she lives alone and doesn't know how to 'clean' but she wants the job."

These are some of the things that make me feel like I know nothing, except that I do actually know nothing.

We ended up hiring an old lady that worked for us, until May, when her drinking and abuse to the patients was too much, and she was fired. But, after her food ran out, she started cleaning the clinic and getting scraps for the work. She is doing a great job at it, and it is the worst job.

Our best labourer was once a guard, until he shot the wife of the community leader in the leg, and as a result, was fired. He settled the dispute by paying the leader some cows, then the men were friends again, (the wife lost her leg), and he came back for his job. MSF was a little confused, but the leader clarified that the issue was resolved, so he was allowed to work with us again.

Our carpenter is a very friendly, insistent, sloppy, filthy, high energy, drunk. But, for 3 bars of soap, 1.5kgs of salt, and some encouragement, he'll work hard for the day. His work looks like he is also blind, but it is good by local standards, tools and expectations.

It is different. That is the only word I can use to express how things are run here: differ­ent, but very understandable.

It is easy to understand how staff just takes a day off, with no notice to us. Their roofs leak, and their 3-month supply of food could spoil, so they stay home to repair it. It is easy to understand how condoms are illegal here, since making babies is the only way the community will survive, (strength in numbers.)

It is easy to understand why no one uses garbage containers. Everything they have ever wrapped something in, is either valuable (cloth) or it is a leaf. It is easy to understand why most men have 3-5 wives and some girlfriends too, all the other men have been killed, and the community knows a fertile woman is too valued. People here live day-to-day, hand to mouth.

One of the big reasons why I wanted to come here (and to do this type of work) is to see how the other 95% of the world live. Sudan is bigger than continental Europe. It has dif­ferent populations, (Arabs and Black Africans). In the south (Black Africa) there are many tribes (Dinka, Nuer, etc). We live within the Nuer area, but are between two dif­ferent clans, and communicate with the two different Chiefs. Wow, where I find myself right now, is an environment about as different as I think one can get in the world, with­out going below the sea, or leaving the planet.

Sorry for the delay in replying to the email. There is one computer between the team of 12 people. It is the end of the month, so people are also doing their end of month report. Please let me know your other questions, the more familiar I am of here, the less I know what your curiosities are.

Maybe I should mention my current surroundings. It is 22:30 on Thursday night. It is Joan's (a nurse) birthday, so we had a nice mashed canned peaches and vodka cocktails (hold the ice) and spaghetti with meat sauce dinner. The temperature has dropped this evening to 30, but I still wipe sweat off my forehead. I am in the office, which is a mud hut, (wood sticks with mud on both sides of them, except no mud where you want a 'win­dow'. The roof is a grass top, but we hang cotton sheeting under it, since the termites eat it, and drop lots on the office. The termites like our roofs, since we don't cook in the tukel.) My tukel (Hut) is approximately 10 feet in diameter, except it isn't round and it isn't square either, parts resemble both shapes (needless to say, the labour and education here is very basic.) I have a trunk that I can lock, and a box where I can leave my book. Besides that a bed (wood frame and cow-hide lacing for under the mattress) and mosquito net. Kala Azar (one of the diseases we treat) is spread by a little fly called the sand fly. It is smaller than mosquitoes, so this netting has smaller holes, so it gets hot inside. The good part about the hot mosquito net is, I don't have to make a sauna. The food is actu­ally good here. All our food (except for cow meat) is flown in. It mostly consists of cans, but the fresh food lasts for about 5 days, of the 10-day rotation. Tomorrow is the incoming flight, so once again, bananas, tomatoes, green peppers and potatoes. The peo­ple here don't eat so well. The feeding centre we run is because there is a distinct hun­ger. This is the harvest time, yet still the feeding centre is used a lot. Part of our upcoming preparation will be for the next 4 months, when the food starts running out (dry season) and the rains are not coming.

The people here (expat team) are very good here. In such a setting, I find there are no small problems, and good things are found in the big problems too. Also, a healthy dose of humour is great. I really like the team here, which makes all the difference. We have some staff from other communities in the Nuer tribe staying with us, which gives us a healthy dose of understanding when talking about project direction, staffing issues, or even what to get the national staff for Christmas. There are also people from Kenya, England, USA, Germany, Holland and Canada.

There are cats here too. I don't like cats, but we are trying to keep a good balance with their feeding, so they keep the 'other living things' down a little. There are some very impressive bugs here, but so far I haven't seen too many other signs of wildlife. I did see some hyena tracks and the tail of a larger snake as it slide into the bush.

One more thing about this place, there are some flights coming in every-so-often. There is another NGO (Non-government-organization) here, and some others that visit, and everything is by plane. Usually they fly over, to check the airstrip, then they land and we all go to see them. There are also Hercules airplanes that come by to drop food. These are large aircrafts that drop 16,000kgs of food. I haven't seen a drop yet, but this week there has been some talk about a drop, and I went to see the drop zone one day. It was a long muddy walk, to the drop field, approx. 6 inches deep of water. WFP (World Food Program) miss-communicated its intentions to drop food there, so I went to check the drop area. After I saw it, we communicated back to Loki, and their base, that it was not suit­able for a drop. The next morning a Hercules flew by, it was big. As it lined up to the drop area, our hearts stopped. We have run out of maize (corn) for our weekly distribu­tion to our patients (approx 4kg/patient x 400 patients = 1,600kgs) and WFP was going to deliver that weekly ration for the next few months to us. Unfortunately, that field would be the home of 16 tons of spoiled food if it dropped. Fortunately, the crew did not drop, but damn, what an expensive plane to send on a miss-communication; and what a waste, spoiling 16 tons of food, in front of a population that is starving.

Well, it is late now. The dogs are barking, the mosquitoes are still biting and the battery power is getting low. Goodnight for now, and I will write again as soon as I can.

Cheers everyone, know that I am happy, healthy and full of no regrets.

Steve

P.S.

Joe I look forward to the CD, have a great time.

Magda: thank you.

Michelle: I hope that answers your question.

Nana: I came to Nairobi with all 11 bears, and I have two with me in the project. The rest are in Loki in storage. It will be difficult to find the right children to give them to, hundreds are worthy of them. The problem is, no one owns anything; so one possession will stand out in a crowd. I will find a way though! I have some other thoughts of maybe
visiting some hospitals on my travels around Kenya on my vacation, and giving them there. I will keep you informed. By the way, they don't like the heat either.

Dad: You are running an interviewing workshop?!? Boy, do I have a lot to ask... where to begin? I hope to see your two books when they are done.

Mom: I think I can send photos in a couple of months once I am back in Loki and have access to a CD burner. I agree, they will speak a thousand words. And yes, I am enjoy­ing things here.

Mike, Steph, Christian, Taylor: I miss you guys.

Christina: As we talked, it is different here. Also, with regards to making a chess set out of bottle caps. We don't get bottles here. I'm thinking of alternatives.
Message #4 October 5, 2003


Hello Mom and Dad.

Well, it is Saturday night, and all is well. It is about midnight, and it is rather hot. The team usually goes to bed early, since the work is pretty full-on here, and with the morning coming quickly, rest is precious. Fortunately, tomorrow is Sunday, and I will enjoy some slower work, like starting the 3-month medical and expat food orders.

The day was pretty full with lots of work, then in the afternoon once most of the staff was dismissed, I got into some tasks that are easier to do without interruption. (For instance, we have store managers, but their math skills are not good at all. So, going over their inventories is always a challenge. I thought, "finding the missing rupees," was a fun game in Sri Lanka. Here, "find the missing 200kgs of maize," seems to be much more... surprising.) After that, at 1800 we have our weekly medical meeting, which lasted till approximately 2000, then some dinner, great conversation, a shower, and bed by 2300. Funny thing about the shower, I don't know when I am finished toweling off water, and I should stop, since there seems to always be a layer of sweat on me. After some time in bed, enclosed in my "super fine mesh" mosquito net, I was a little too hot to sleep, and my mind was up for some thoughts, and I thought it would be a good time to write an email and share them with you.

I don't think I have expressed much about all the things they have here, in Lankien. They have, very very little. Few possessions, and little food. There are many conversations, (and many personal debates I hold with myself) regarding food, and what fortune it is that we (the expat team) has, in relation to what is present, just outside our compound.

I am in charge of providing the cook with the food and direction for getting giving us food. Our cook, and most of the people here, only eat a very few things. In harvest time, (the end of the rainy season, that is now) and for about 4 months afterwards, there is maize (corn) and shorgum. In the "market" there are no vegetables or fruit. There is some meat, usually beef, but it is a highly priced thing. At the end of the rainy season, the cows are herded to a river to graze there. After the dried harvest stock runs out, there is even less available for a couple of months. I hear this is the hardest part of the differ­ence between our food and what everyone else has. Once the rains come again, the cows come back to graze again in the area. When the cows are back, people feed off of the cow's milk and blood, until the harvest is ready again.

The other thing that they have is WFP (World Food Program) drops food for the commu­nity. This is more maize, also a high protein mix called unimix, some beans and oil.

So, back to our compound, and the difference across the fence. Yesterday, we had a plane come in, so we got some fresh veggies. Tonight we had spaghetti with a great tomato sauce using fresh tomatoes, peppers, onions, and garlic; and we had more food than peo­ple could eat. The big question came to me, the question that I think I'll ponder for months now, "what to do with the extra?"

I'm sure when everyone is young, in a western country, a parental figure makes the statement, "eat it all, there are starving people in Africa!" And there is usually a reply, or thought, "I'll just put it in an envelope and send it there then, eh!" It is much different when they are just across the fence.

There are some cats here that have kept the rodent population down quite well appar­ently, and so, we feed them a little to keep them around. Anyway, there is a batch of canned pork that is expired, but we keep it, to feed the cats. I feel like one of those peo­ple back home that spends silly amounts of money on "free range, low carb, salt free," food for their pet cat. Expired canned pork is probably a luxury in the local market, but we use it for the cats.

So, in an effort to take this want to do something, past the point of just talking about it, and actually DO SOMETHING, I am up late, tossing ideas, and writing some down.

In Sri Lanka in one project, we collected the extra food and made a dish for the guards. The guards would always say thank you, in what I thought was an appreciative tone. In the other project, the team felt that was a little insulting, "leaving our table scraps," and instead the dog got them. I remember times being on the other end of someone's random generosity, and it is a hard place to be. Will they give me a tip or not, will they drive me or not, or will I get some of their food, or not?

The people here are hungry. Just like in those TV ads, "for the cost of one coffee a day, you could save someone like little Jessica here," and they show a very skinny, almost stick-like figure, that is a person. We have a therapeutic feeding centre, so we attract those malnourished people, but the people outside the clinic, aren't too much better. A nurse here, Joan, commented, "you are suppose to keep them (the feeding centre patients) in the feeding centre, until they are 85% of their minimum weight to height ratio. We discharge them at 80%. Damn, at 85%, they are the fattest kids in the village!"

In the mornings, I go to check the airstrip. It is a nice morning walk, and a chance to see outside the clinic and compound. It is also, a good way to meet people. It is a very social place, everyone here too, says hello, (funny that, someone must have come here a long time ago and civilized the natives, then got erased from history). It is quite nice, there are many different greetings, and you can spend quite some time, passing greetings back and forth between people you pass. (Translated) "Good Greetings" - ma-le me-goa "Big Greetings" - ma-le ma-dit "Healthy body greetings" - ma-le poin-du "Sweet greetings" - Ma-le me-lim-lim "Sweeter Greetings" - ma-le me-chum etc. Also, many children come and want to shake your hand, hold your hand and walk with you for some time, and always beg to be lifted up. It is always a fun walk.

In that little walk, there is some garbage (from some of the specialized food we give to the feeding centre patients) on the path. I once started picking up some pieces of garbage, to see if I could start a trend, and to my pleasant surprise the kids around me were fran­tically looking for garbage to put in the pile, as I had. After each of them did something, I rewarded them by lifting them up. To my further surprise, they are very very light.

Well, the extra cooked food thing, I have resolved nothing, except that I shouldn't do anything, until I understand things here a little more. Fortunately, there is a health worker on the team that is from this area, Francis. He is Nuer, and I think I will be pick­ing his mind a lot about some of these things. Just tonight I finally talked with him about where he was from and his family etc. His wife and children are in a refugee camp in northern Kenya, possibly even getting maize, unimix, beans and oil from WFP, while he watches us feed our cats canned pork.

People have told me before I got here, Sudan is a unique place, and I have to agree. We often have debates about our level of comfort here. For instance, technology, and our budget, allow us to have a small propane powered fridge that can chill some drinks. That would be so nice, a cold beer on a hot day, (and there are no shortages of hot days.) But, how do you carry that fridge past a hundred hungry people into our compound for us (or, how do you choose to take a propane cylinder instead of a bag of maize on the plane)? Actually, how do you explain the need for a machine to cool things, when there isn't enough food to feed people? What is cold? Why would you cool things?

Also, the debates go on about better tukels (huts) or even a social tukel, so we could eat outside the kitchen or office. My first reaction was, "Yes, let's build it! These flies and mosquitoes are a hassle." But, like most of my first thoughts after arriving here, I think I should sit on it a little before acting. There is something MSF pushes, they call it, "proximaty". Proximaty, as I understand it, is being with the population we are serving. I don't think that means to starve, to know what it is like, but it questions how in-touch to the needs of a population can you be, if you are "removed" from it through the comforts that you can afford. Well, debates have been going on in this place for years, and they will for years to come. It is 0200 Sunday morning, I should go soon.

Before I do, maybe another snapshot of Lankien. There is nothing to do for the people here, and the smallest excitement, is very exciting. When a plane comes, it is pretty big. People (mostly children, but also the village leaders and others) from all over come to see it, and if the big man with a stick isn't looking, one can run up to the plane and touch it. If there is a load to take off the plane, the quick kids are able to get on the plane and unload it. There is then a flurry of people bringing things to the compound. Even the very small (very light) kids carry things on their heads on the way to the compound.

Technology skipped here. Apparently last year when a well drilling team was brought in, a vehicle was brought by plane. When the truck drove off the plane, the crowd ran for their lives! Many of them had never seen a car before. And how could they, there aren't any for a very long walk (~7 days).

The kids play games in the street with what they have. There are dried clay pieces in dif­ferent shapes for their games. There is a volleyball net and clearing set-up. I think a volleyball and net fell out of an airplane and has changed life here. Tomorrow MSF has been challenged to a game, wish us luck!

The people here are very tall. I am often looking across to people's eyes, and sometimes up a little too. Facial scaring is practiced here too. All the Nuer men have horizontal lines cut in their foreheads when they reach 12-14 years old. Many of the women have a different type of facial scaring, where little scared dots decorate around their eyes in radi­ating circles, and out on their cheeks. Very distinctive.

The best part is, they are very friendly, and it is a pleasure to live and work with them.

Well, the battery is almost spent on this computer, so I'll say goodnight now. Take care,

Steve

P.S. I learned this prayer some years ago, and it rings more powerful to me the more of the world I see. "For food in a world where many go hungry, for security where many live in fear, and for friends and family where many walk alone, for this we give thanks." Thank you Malcolm.