Hello Mom and Dad, number 4

18-02-05


Okay, this letter is getting long, and I’ll send it soon. I have been reading over my last letters, and wondering if I’m drifting on issues. Most people ask me, “how are things here,” and, “what are my daily tasks,” but I have been most focused on what is happening in Somalia, than my daily routine. That is what consumes my thoughts, and this is just a recording of my thoughts, so I continue.

February 9th, as I said above, a journalist was shot in Mogadishu. Well, she died in the hospital from her injuries. All journalists have left Mogadishu afterwards.

Again, I point out that we are in Puntland, not the south of Somalia. Here things are much better, no public opposition to the Federal Government and no opposition to the foreign peacekeepers.


Yesterday, we received confirmed reports of another protest in Mogadishu, protesting the foreign peacekeepers. Also there was a bombing there, targeting an assessment group, for the upcoming African Union peacekeeping mission. We are concerned about what will happen to the Federal Government coming to Somalia, and the struggle that comes with it.


Right now, we are watching the events in Mogadishu very closely, as they may deteriorate, and influence us and the programs here.


As for the TB program: Things are going well, but I feel I am loosing a little focus in the priorities. It is becoming very obvious that there are many unmet needs for TB treatment in this part of Somalia. Everyday there are more and more reports of hard conditions patients overcome to participate in the treatment; and it is obvious that many of them will not be able to overcome those obstacles for the duration of their 6 month treatment. “We are getting many patients from _____ area. We must go there to assess the needs.” Came a fully agreeable comment from our MD. “Yes, we should go there, but it is inaccessible.” I would reply. “But if that is where the patients are, we must go!” “Sorry, we can’t” I feel like I am bringing down the wishes of the team, by voicing my thoughts on feasibility. There is an obvious trend that medical people don’t want to hear the problems, “we must address the needs!” and I’m bringing in the problems to why we can’t do this or that. So far I have met with agreement on most issues, but it is difficult. I think it is good to have the two sides of the argument, to keep the debate alive on treating patients, but it is difficult. “We must bring food to feed the patients. Treatment without food, is half-assed and not acceptable. Steve don’t tell me you are not willing to feed the patients!” “I see nothing more important. It is only a logistical issue. In the last shipment the hospital project had, 500 50kg bags were looted. It presents some logistical demands that I don’t think we can take on right now.” “But we try?” “We try.” It is a balancing act with more than two components. Medical needs vs access to patients vs staff capacity vs cultural considerations vs etc. I can see why other NGOs aren’t here. It is a difficult place to be.


Well, I should leave this off on a good note. A recent thing I’ve taken on. Jocelyne the PC in the Galcayo North hospital and the south Galcayo hospital projects is out for R&R now. I have taken over as the Security In-Charge of the projects in Galcayo. Looking around, I see that I’m comfortable in this role. I was wondering how I would like to be a Project Coordinator, and living with the hospital team, I have been under Jocelyne’s responsibility, security wise, so it hasn’t been an objective view. But, now that she is out, I find I am comfortable in this role, comfortable in the security analysis going on, and lastly and most importantly, comfortable that others have trust in my abilities. (Funny thing, with my birthday just passing, my age has finally come up. It turns out that I am the second youngest of 30 people in the MSF Holland Somalia mission, yet right now in charge of 13 of them. I think that really took the piss out of some people, but only by my age, we hope.)


Well, I still don’t know if I like it here. It is a difficult place to work, and I have questioned more here than elsewhere, why are we here? The medical needs are blindingly obvious, but it is only the ability to meet those needs that I find unquestionably inadequate.


We have an interm Head of Mission, as Colin (the regular one) is out on paternity leave. Tim (the interm HoM) asked if I would extend my contract. I have signed on for a 5.5 month contract (ending in June). I said no. I’m not ready right now to do that, for this place, for this project. I’m torn between those big medical needs, and my personal needs. This debate of inadequate meeting of medical needs doesn’t help resolve that issue. I think, unless things change a lot, I will come home in June, for another time between missions.


Okay, well maybe that isn’t the “good note” to leave off on, but this is a record of my thoughts, and that’s where they are.


Take care everyone. Lots of Love,


Steve